There is todally no excuse for this; it’s a big basic Bryan Adams/Michael McDonald/Michael Bolton-styley power ballad wedding song. Eddie Perfect and I were trading potential choruses over SMS; Ed’s is (more or less) the “fatal blow” one that gets reprised for the coda.


I used to live in loneliness, I kept my heart controlled.
I thought that I was cool, I guess, but really I was cold.
I’d talk with folks informally, and pass the time of day –
but people mostly bother me, and so I turned away.

They’d call me misanthropic, and I had to acquiesce,
so love was not a topic that I thought I would address.
But I found myself in error, when I lost myself in thrall;
now I’m blood and bones and pheromones – how far a man can fall!

I see you and I know,
You smile and I’m like “Whoa!”
With ev’rything you show to me,
you almost seem to glow to me,
so won’t you please let go to me todally?

‘Pretty’ ain’t enough.
‘Cos you’re beautiful and stuff.
Each time that you say no to me,
it’s like a fatal blow to me;
come let your loving flow to me, todally.

I used to be so carefully composed!
But now I feel so foolishly exposed!
Tell me:
How do people live a life so raw?
And tell me what the pain of love is for!
Tell me how I find the language to reveal
the wherewithal to tell you all I feel?

To show you the complexion of the love that you inspire,
the heights of my affection, and the depth of my desire.
But the words I long to say to you retreat into my soul;
yes, it’s like my heart’s afraid of you, you’re swallowing it whole:

How awesome can you be?
I’m just, like, OMG!
And when you say hello to me,
it’s like a kiss you blow to me;
it feels so apropos to me, todally.

It’s all that I can say.
and completely blown away.
I wait for it devotedly,
the lifeline that you’ll throw to me,
to board the boat you’ll row to me, todally.

Each time that you say no to me,
it’s like a fatal blow to me;
come let your loving flow to me, todally.

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