Pumpkin, Mrs Farnsworth

The origin of this Interrobang Cartel track (as featured on their first album, Needs More Wanger) was in a dream – John D Salt‘s dream, to be precise. This is how he remembered it in his post of April 22nd, 2003:

“I had an odder-than-usual dream last night.

“It involved a parlour-game, which I should think would need quite a large and well-furnished parlour for the game to work successfully.

“The game is called “Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth”. It needs numerous players of all sexes to play it, and somebody called Mrs. Farnsworth, who carries a plate of cakes and distributes them among the party.

“The object of the game is for pairs of players to secretly have sex with each other without being noticed, and then shout “pumpkin!” before Mrs. Farnsworth can offer them a cake.

“It all seemed much less impractical in my dream than it does now.”

Pumpkin, Mrs Farnsworth

Meet me by the bookshelf
at the south end of the room
Slip behind the sofa
in the early evening gloom
Tongue my genitalia,
make me shudder, make me shake:
Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth!
I now require a cake.

We might just sit together
drinking tea and making time:
Such delightful weather!
Why, the company’s sublime!
Can you lean a little that way?
If you just… oh yes… that’s nice…
Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth!
I need a second slice.

I’ll sneak behind my brother
As he gazes at the lawn
With lib’ral use of butter
he’ll forgive me in the morn.
For here it’s win, or pack it in,
you’re either champ or chump:
Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth,
if kin are there to pump.

And no-one knows, and so it goes,
all night and into day:
Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth!
(In fact, just leave the tray.)

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