Green Room: Drowsies Launch “Vigorous” Campaign

{mosimage}The Drowsy Drivers today signaled their intention to campaign “vigorously and relentlessly” for a Green Room Award.

Nominated in four categories of the Green Room Cabaret section, the
band used the words “total and utter annihilation of the opposition”
several times in the space of a five-minute press conference. “This
time we want everything,” boomed singer Casey Bennetto, pounding the
table. “It’s ours. It’s all ours.”


The band unveiled a five-stage awards campaign that included
“newspaper and magazine advertisements”, “billboards and direct
advertising”, “gifts to Green Room judges”, “encouraging fellow
nominees to withdraw their names from consideration” and, worryingly,
“pre-emptive baseball bat”.

Asked to explain the last stage, Bennetto smiled enigmatically.
“That’s for me to know, and Paul ‘Cliff Hanger’ McCarthy to find out.”
He then seized the microphone and stared directly into the camera.
“That’s right. I’m talkin’ to you, motherf____r, so back the f___
down before somebody gets hurt… hurt real bad.”

Guitarist Ross McFerran was more circumspect. “We’re not going
to go into it in detail right now, for obvious reasons, but let’s just
say it’s a ‘shock and awe’ campaign. We want our fellow nominees to
know who we are and how hard we can punch. Sorry, did I say that? It
was the last thing I meant to say.”

The band then milled aggressively around Emma Bathgate’s residence, making pointed observations on the flammability of nearby objects. – []

The Green Room Awards will be held on May 25th, 2003, at Chapel Off Chapel.
Details at www.greenroom.org.au.

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